Depression

Depression;

dreamcatcher part 5

Here lately, its been a very difficult time for me; I have also been very down in the dumps as well as discouraged, since my father passed away in the KC, VA Hospital, he was all alone.  

(My dad was sent to Germany, shortly after World War 11, then when he came back from overseas, he married my mother, who soon developed Cancer several years later; after 5 children were born, and Jennifer was a baby, when she passed away in 1969, I was 12 years old.) My father was a school teacher, he taught Math and Science, and a coach for football and basket ball, Junior High boys.)  He was also a local Pastor of our church, and he farmed for many years.

 My sister had just left for the day, from the Hospital, and I have been working non-stop, living in another state, and doing the kind of work I do, we are usually work, short handed, meaning not enough staff, I work with Mental Health.  My dad apparently, had to be revived because he had a heart attack, and it was about 2 or 3 am, maybe closer to 4:30 am, back in February 2015;  They tried to do a blood transfusion, when he was a DNR.  But the day before he was sitting up, talking and eating.  My sister was preparing a Nursing Home room for him, and washing all his clothes and laundry, as he stayed in the bed room apartment, in her house in MO.  I was working the late all night shift that day.  And, I was planning on a weekend visit to Missouri to see him.  Plans was changed quickly on this visit.

 Then a month later, one of my good friends from school, had a ‘heart attack’ at home, and soon passed away.  I knew her ever since the 8th grade in high school.  Her name was Sally and she always saved a bus seat for me, as we were usually the last stop.  As we got older, we’d chat alot on the phone, way late hours.  I was a night person, and so was Sally, we’d be there for each other when on one else was.  She was a diabetic too.  Bless her heart, life was not fair to her either, with her health issues, but she always had a smile on her face no matter what.  So, anyways, I just want you all to know this is one reason, I haven’t been writing too much, here on WordPress.com.  Just visiting new profiles, and lurking about.  When I get depressed, its hard to get out in that state of mind, and function.  

(Have you ever, tried to tell someone something, and you just can’t get the right words out to tell them, then one day its too Late?  Well this happened to me in both cases, with my good friend, and my dad, and now its too late for both of them.)  We all have a number on our toes, when its our turn to Pass Away, but we also have now, take advantage of our time now here on Earth, to spend as much quality time with friends and families as much as possible.  Sit down and have your Heart to Heart talks, don’t wait until its too late.)

My father has a twin sister who is still alive, their Birthday’s Sept. 20, and so is my little sister Sherry, and my eldest daughter Teeyana, all born on the same day.  This is 3 generations Birthday.  It just dawned on my this is part of my depression this week, we used to do family pot lucks for dad…at my sister’s Jennifer’s house.

So, I just take one day at a time, and go about my usual daily routine.  God Bless everyone; and thanks for stopping in.

purple feathers

purple feathers

18 Comments

  1. There should be the empathy button instead of a like button. I feel a lot of your pain and your sadness. I am sorry. Don’t think you write too much. Writing is therapy and sharing this is healing. I am glad you have this blog. Big hugs to you 💖

  2. Sorry to hear of your losses Deb. I don’t understand why things happen the way they do. For the past few months I’ve been watching a friend of mine deeply struggle bedridden. She is 97 and not going to recover. But I take solace in knowing that soon she will be in a place of no more suffering, and one day I will see her again. Like you said in another post we are here to love one another and it sounds like they showed love to you. How nice you can pass on their legacy and share that with us.

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